Men And Women jokes

James Bond walks intoa bar and takes a seat next to an attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks down at his watch. The woman next to him asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replied, "Q's just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it." Intrigued by this, the woman asks, "What does it do, Mr. Bond?" "Well you see," said Bond, "it uses Alpha waves to telepathically talk to me." "I see," said the woman, "and what's it telling you now?" "It says you're not wearing any knickers..." Bond says. The woman giggles and says, "Well it must be broken because I'm afraid I'm wearing knickers!" 007 taps his watch and says, "Damn thing must be an hour fast!"

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Ross Perot are on a ship when it is sinking. Perot orders for all women to head for the life boats. Bush says screw the women! Clinton says "Do we have time?"

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?

A: What are you shaking about, its me she's going to eat.

There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head. They were all sitting in a hair salon talking about their daughters. The brunette says, "I was lookin throuh my daughter's purse and I found a pack of cigarettes! Do you believe that my daughter smokes!! So then the redhead says, "Oh my gosh, I was looking through my daughter's purse and i found alcohol! Do you believe she's been drinking!! So then the blond says "I was looking through my daughter's purse and I found a condom! Do you believe my daughter has a penis?!"