scratch those thangs
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
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Because they don't have any balls to scratch!
take what you want
One day Ed, known for always being broke and shabby, walks into his regular bar. One of the other regulars, noticing his new clothes and brand new Harley Davidson asked him where he got it. Ed, with a big, proud smile on his face explained: "I was walking to the grocery store, when all of a sudden a girl rode up on this shining new Harley. She got off her bike, threw off all of her clothes and said 'take what you want.' So I did."
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wives live longer
Why do wives live longer than their husbands?
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Because they aren't married to women!
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