Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


before it starts
 
 
A man comes home from work and sits in his recliner in front of the television.
"Hey, wife!" he yells. "Gimme a beer before it starts!" She gives him his beer. Fifteen minutes pass.
"Hey, wife!" he yells. "Gimme a beer before it starts!" She gives him his beer. Five minutes pass.
"Hey, wife!" he yells. "Gimme a beer before it starts!"
"Hey, you've already had two beers in twenty minutes! Don't you think that's a lot? I'm not getting you another!"
"Now it starts."
husband staggering
 
 
Q: What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?
A: Shoot him again!
six most important men in a woman's life
 
 
THE DOCTOR because he says 'take your clothes off.'
THE DENTIST because he says 'open wide.'
THE HAIR DRESSER because he says 'do you want them teased or blown?"
THE MILKMAN because he says 'do you want it in the back or in the front?'
THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says'once it's in you'll love it.'
THE BANKER because he says 'if you take it out too soon you'll lose interest."
let's live on love
 
 
A couple decides to get married, despite the fact that the woman doesn't know how to cook at all. After all, he says, they can live on love. After the honeymoon is over, the man goes back to work. One day, he calls from work and asks if his new wife could make some dinner. Knowing full well that she doesn't cook, she asks if they can make love instead. The man agrees, and soon arrives home to find his wife sliding repeatedly down the bannister.

"What are you doing?" he asks, concerned.

"Oh, silly," she says. "I'm warming up your dinner!"


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