Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


fingers
 
 
A man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally sawed off all ten fingers. He quicky rushed to the emergency room. The doctor there told him, “Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do'.”

“But I don't have the fingers!”

“What! You don't have the fingers!?” said the doctor, “You should have brought them to me. We have all kinds of operations we could have done like microsugery and stuff. We could have put them back as good as new.”

“But Doc, I couldn't pick them up.”

how many men to open a beer?
 
 
How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you!

death, death, death!
 
 
Two guys meet in heaven, and are chatting about how they died. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy says he died of a heart attack.

"How did that happen?" asks the first guy.

"Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife and another man. But when I went inside, I searched and searched for her, but couldn't find anybody. I was stricken with such remorse for accusing my wife of infidelity that I had a heart attack on the spot."

"Geez," says the first guy. "If you'd've opened the fridge, we'd both be alive right now."

ready to go home yet?
 
 
There was a guy in a bar and he asked the bartender for a beer. He chugged it, looked into his pocket, asked for another beer. He chugged that one, then looked into his pocket, and asked for another beer.

This went on for a while until the bartender finally asked, "How come you ask for a beer, chug it, then look in your pocket?"

The man said, "Because there is a picture of my wife in my pocket and I'm gonna keep drinking till she looks good enough to go home."


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