Men And Women jokes

Three men all die on Christmas Day, and arrive at the pearly gates. Peter greets them and tells them that they are all evil men who SHOULD go to hell - but because it's Christmas, he'll let them into heaven if they have something representing the holiday with them. One of the guys has a Christmas ornament, and gets let in. Another guy has pine needles on his shirt, and gets let in. The third guy pulls out a pair of panties.

"How do those represent Christmas?" asks Peter.

"These are Carol's."

Whats the thinnest book in the world?

"What Men Know About Women."

"Guess what I got for my mother for Christmas? An electric broom!" said the wife.

"Why?" said the husband. "So she can get here faster?"

Belts. Women use belts an an accessory, guys use belts to perch their pants precariously on their crack.
Hats. Same deal. Do women need them? No. Why? Because there is a choice, when you are having a bad hair day, you can (A) Spend 45 minutes in the bathroom dousing your hair with chemicals and goos, or (B) Toss on a hat to cover up the nasty hair.
Socks. Guys wear white gymsocks, females have to go and wear pink and purple frilly puffy socks. Socks thinner than public restroom toilet paper. I mean c'mon ladies, when you're wearing pants does the color or the socks really matter?
Bracelets. Who thought up these things? These are worse than Minesweeper for wasting time. You can jingle them, and you can play with them, they aren't good for much else!
Creams/Lotions/Oinments. Why do females have 19 different exfoliation creams? I mean c'mon, it just clutters up the countertop in the bathroom. A guy's bathroom: soap, razor, shaving cream, deoderant, and some tough actin' Tinactin. A woman's, oh God. I wont even get into that.