Men And Women jokes

"Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning."

Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

The brunette leans over and smells the stain. "Smells like a cum stain too!"

The blonde leans over and licks the spot on the elevator wall, then says, "Yep, but it's nobody from this building."

The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?"

The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."

In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.

'Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.'

'That must have hurt,' said the judge.

'No kidding,' said the best man. 'I broke three of my fingers.'