Men And Women jokes

"What can I help you with?' he asked.

'Well first, what is that thing between my husband's legs called?'

'Ma'am,' he answered, 'that there is called a penis.'

'I see,' she said. 'Now what is the big thing on the end of the penis called?'

'Why that there is called the head of the penis.'

'I do declare!' exclaimed the young woman. 'One last question doctor, what are those two big round things about 12 to 14 inches behind the head of the penis?'

'I'm not sure about your husband, ma'am, but on me, they're called the cheeks of my ass!'

The first guy says, "Hey that's my egg."

The other guy responds, "But it's on my lawn."

The first guy says, "Well, where I come from, we have a way of settling these problems. First we get our heaviest boots and kick each other in the nuts. Then we time each other to see how long it takes for both of us to get up. Whoever is up in the least amount of time wins." The other guy says okay.

So the guy with the hen kicks first, because it's his hen. The second guy doesn't get up for 30 minutes, but he finally does and says, "Now it's my turn."

But the first guy walks away, saying, "Never mind, you can keep the egg."

'Brothers and Sisters, I also understand that there have been some he'n and he'n goin' on. Those who are guilty, leave my presence.' So some embarrased men exited the church.

'Brothers and Sisters, I also understand that there have been some she'n and she'n going on. Those who are guilty, leave my presence.' So some women got up and exited the church. The preacher looked around and the only one left in the church was a little boy sittin' in the front pew. The preacher walked up to the boy.

'I would like to commend you for being such an upright, loyal Christian.'

'Hold up now preacher. If you had gotten down to some me'n and some me'n, I'd have to get up and leave too!'