Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


powder
 
 
A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3 a.m. and says, 'Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?'

She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed. 'Where the hell have you been?!?!' she screaches.

'Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.'

'Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!'

She sees his hands are covered with powder and says, 'You liar! You went bowling again!'

bmw & a porcupine
 
 
What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine?

A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

lesbians, diets, and makeup
 
 
Why don't lesbians go on diets and wear makeup at the same time?

It's hard to be on Jenny Craig when you've got Liz Clairborne on your face!

beer bottle opener
 
 
How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it to you.


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