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'A limerick I heard today at work. But I can't tell you,' he says. 'It's too dirty.'
'Don't worry, I've heard them all,' she replies.
'I really can't, it's the dirtiest limerick that I have ever heard!'
'OK,' his wife says. 'How about you tell it, but substitute the word 'beep' in the place of the really dirty words.'
'Fine,' he says. 'Here goes: Beep beep-beep beep beep-beep beep beep, beep beep-beep beep beep-beep beep beep. Beep-beep beep beep beep, beep-beep beep beep beep, beep beep-beep beep beep-beep beep.'
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None, it should be opened by the time she brings it to you!
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Man 1: Please God, I can't count how many times I cheated on my wife. There were just too many beautiful women on Earth, and I had to have them all.
God: I am ashamed of you, my man, For that, I give you a run-down truck that barely moves.
Man 2: Dear God, please forgive me! I cheated on my wife once, just once! We were going through problems and I took the wrong turn. Please forgive me!
God: My man, I am ashamed of you too. But I will be kinder to you. For that, I give you a convertible BMW.
Man 3: Dear God, you will be so proud of me. I loved and worshipped my wife. I brought her roses everyday after work, I brought her gifts every aniversary, and we went travelling, and had dinner out three times a week, and...
God: Okay, my man, enough! I get the point. I am very proud of you! For that, I give you any car you desire!
Two weeks later Man 1 and 2 are driving on the freeway when they see Man 3 ahead of them, stopped in the middle of the road in his Black Jaguar.
Man 1 and 2: Hey Man! Why are you sitting in your car and crying your eyes out? You're acting like some ungrateful bugger! Look at your car, man! What is your problem?!
Man 3: "I just saw my wife on rollerskates!"
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