Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


genie can't deliver
 
 
There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. *POOF* A genie popped out of his pocket!!!

The very angry looking Genie said, 'Alright, I have had enough with this three wish stuff, and 'cuz you stole me away from my HBO Special, I will only give you one wish!'

The suprised man said, 'OK, I want to live in Hawaii in a huge condo on the beach with three million dollars in the master bedroom, but I am afraid of boats and planes so I want you to build a bridge from here to Hawaii.'

The genie replied with a smirk, 'Are you crazy? Do you know how long that will take, with the pillars going down to the bottom of the ocean, all the cement it would take for the highway? No I'm sorry, it just can't happen.'

The man said, 'Fine then, I want to understand women.'

The genie said, ' Would you like two lanes or four?'

sexual confessional
 
 
A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest.

'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'

'Tell all of your sins, my daughter.'

'Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend made hot, passionate love to me seven times,' she says.

The priest thinks about this long and hard and says, 'Take seven lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass and drink it.'

'Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?'

'No,' the priest says, 'but it'll wipe that smile off your face!'

the difference between boiling water and
 
 
What's the difference between boiling water and a woman?

You put a piece of meat in boiling water and it gets softer...
first time
 
 
This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the backseat of his car. A knock was heard on the window and there stood a cop. The guy got out, shaking like a leaf. The cop said that he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.

The guy got back in the car and finished with his girlfriend. When he got out again, he was still shaking like a leaf. The cop said there was no reason to be scared, because he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next. The guy said 'I'm not afraid that you'll arrest me, it's just that I've never done it with a cop before!"


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