Men And Women jokes

2. "I'll get this round and the next one is on you." Happy hour is about to end. Beers are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $3.50.

3. "Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.

4. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female)
I'm easy.

5. "Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male)
I'm gay.

6. "Ever try a body shot?" (male to female)
I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.

7. "Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?

8. "I don't feel well, let's go home." (female)
You are paying more attention to your friends than me.

9. I don't feel well, let's go home." (male)
I'm horny.

10. "Who's got the next round?"
I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.

IRELAND
"Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk? This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?"

FRANCE
"Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that? Aren't the French just Germans who can make sauces?"

ITALY
"Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus? I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O's! "

POLAND
"Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?"

GERMANY
"Is this bratwurst kosher?"

TURKEY
"Where's the hash at? It's cool to slaughter Kurds though, right?"

KOREA
"Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?"

CHINA
"This wall isn't so great."

ENGLAND
"Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?"

SWEDEN
"Do you have any normal meatballs? Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?"

YEMEN
"Yemen? That's a stupid name for a country. What's it mean ‘Land Of Fanatics And Desert'?"

INDIA
"You don't live in teepees? Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?"

ETHIOPIA
"After a long day of travel, I'm famished. Hey – those flies sure love your newborn!"

CANADA
"You're like Americans without money."

SPAIN
"So, this is the country that's not Portugal? Wow. Your women can shave if they want to, right? Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?"

SOUTH AFRICA
"I liked it better the other way."

MEXICO
"Cancun is nice, but the rest of this third world country sucks!"

SAUDI ARABIA
"Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car? Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?"

RUSSIA
"Is it always this cold and economically devastated?"

UZBEKISTAN
"Can you spell Uzbekistan?"

GREECE
"I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy. Anyone ever tell you that you resemble a Turk?"

AFGHANISTAN
"Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?"

JAPAN
"What's Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?"

AUSTRALIA
"How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?"

AMERICA
"You mean, you're all not loud, stupid, and fat?"

*These questions should not be shouted in English.

Check out Gerhard Reinke's WANDERLUST, Saturdays @ 11:30 PM | 9 C on Comedy Central.

Adam said, "I am lonely. Could you make me a companion to share my life with?"

God replied, "What do you have in mind?"

Adam said, "I would like a female with beautiful eyes, shiny hair, and soft skin. Someone who will never get tired of me and never argue with me. Someone who I can talk to endlessly about football. You know, someone I will want to be with forever.

God said, "Sure, I can do that for you, however it will cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam said, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"