Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


hubby homing device
 
 
Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late?
Wife #2: Well, everytime he would come home I would simply say, 'Mike, is that you?'
Wife #1: But I still don't understand. How did that kept him from staying out?
Wife #2: My husband's name is Andrew.
doctor's orders
 
 
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"

“He said you're going to die," she replied.

lesbians, diets, and makeup
 
 
Why don't lesbians go on diets and wear makeup at the same time?

It's hard to be on Jenny Craig when you've got Liz Clairborne on your face!

a new set of golf clubs
 
 
'I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife!'

'Great trade!'


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