mathematics
He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, 'Now that's addition.'
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, 'Now that's subtraction.'
Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, 'That's multiplication.'
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, 'That's long division!'
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He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, 'Now that's addition.'
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, 'Now that's subtraction.'
Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, 'That's multiplication.'
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, 'That's long division!'
here, piggy, piggy
An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs, and every morning the farmer would head out to feed them. And every morning, he would see all the pigs screwing up a storm. He would get turned on by this and try to get back to the house in time to screw his wife -- but he always got soft before he got there. So one day, he took his hatchet and headed out to the pig pen.
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"No!" said his wife. "Don't kill those pigs!"
"I'm not going to kill them. I'm moving the pen closer to the house."
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