Men And Women jokes

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man," said his partner, "you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going totell you".

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasonsfollow:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

The president gets one and says, “My country needs me!” and jumps.

The smartest man in the world grabs one and says, “Well, the world needs me, since I'm so smart,” and jumps.

One parachute left and the old man says, “You take it, my life is almost over anyway.”

The little girl says, “No. We both can jump.”

Confused, the man asks, “How?” The little girl says, “The smartest man in the world took my backpack.”

1) Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2) You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3) The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4) Your man is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5) You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving- call 1-800-***-****."

6) Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7) You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

8) You're counting down the days until menopause.

9) You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10) The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.