Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


a hooker and a bungee jump
 
 
What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common?

They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.

husbands' performance
 
 
Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as lovers. The first woman says 'My husband works as a marriage counsellor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that.'

The second woman says, 'My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that.'

The third woman just shakes her head and says, 'My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it.'

baby, this is the best line ever
 
 
Let's go to my place and play war -- I'll lay down and you blow the hell outta me!
mr. or mrs. computer
 
 
Is your computer male or female? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes", or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!"). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going totell you".

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasonsfollow:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.


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