Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women

the fortynunners
Three nuns went to a football game and three men got stuck sitting behind them. The men couldn't see very well because of the nun's little nun hats. So they came up with a plan to make them leave.

'I think I'll move to California, there's only 50 Catholics there," said the first man.

"I think I'll move to Washington, there's only 25 Catholics there.'

"I think I'll move to Idaho, there's only 10 Catholics there.' Then one of the nuns turned around.

"Go to Hell, there are NO Catholics there."

material safety data sheet
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 118lbs., known to vary from 110 to 550lbs.
Occurence: Copious quantities throughout the world.
Physical properties:
  1. Surface usually covered with a painted field and a variety of esthers.
  2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
  3. Melts when given special treatment.
  4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
  5. Found in states varying from virgin metal to common ore.
  6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points.
Chemical properties:
  1. Has a genuine affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
  2. Absorbs great quantities of attention.
  3. VOLATILE: May explode without warning for no apparent reason.
  4. Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased with alcohol.
Most common uses:
  1. Primarily ornamental, especially in sports cars.
  2. Found to be a great aid to relaxation.
  1. Pure specimen turns rosey pink when discovered in its natural state.
  2. Turns green when placed next to a fresher specimen.
  1. Hard to retain when left in inexperienced hands.
  2. Illegal (not to mention deadly) to possess more than one at a time.
amusement pork
Q: What do a man and a rollercoaster have in common?

A: You wait three hours for a two-minute ride

little-known facts
Why do men walk so fast? They've got three legs!

Why do women talk so much? They've got two mouths!

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