Men And Women jokes

'I think I'll move to California, there's only 50 Catholics there," said the first man.

"I think I'll move to Washington, there's only 25 Catholics there.'

"I think I'll move to Idaho, there's only 10 Catholics there.' Then one of the nuns turned around.

"Go to Hell, there are NO Catholics there."

1. Surface usually covered with a painted field and a variety of esthers.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3. Melts when given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in states varying from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points.

1. Has a genuine affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of attention.
3. VOLATILE: May explode without warning for no apparent reason.
4. Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased with alcohol.

1. Primarily ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Found to be a great aid to relaxation.

1. Pure specimen turns rosey pink when discovered in its natural state.
2. Turns green when placed next to a fresher specimen.

1. Hard to retain when left in inexperienced hands.
2. Illegal (not to mention deadly) to possess more than one at a time.

A: You wait three hours for a two-minute ride

Why do women talk so much? They've got two mouths!