Men And Women jokes

9. You say, "Do you think that lawn is gonna mow itself?" But then it does

8. Your child gets busted shoplifting a newt

7. Can turn lead into gold, but he can't remember to take out the trash .

6. He wears shiny red satin robes -- and you're just praying he's a wizard

5. Favorite discount electronics chain: The Wiz

4. Refers to Halloween as "amateur night"

3. He's only 12, but somehow he's dating Gwyneth Paltrow

2. His homework ate the dog

1. You catch him in the bathroom polishing his wand

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said. "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?"

"Tarzan check for bees."

They say he was half nuts.