Men And Women jokes

"You, sir, are drunk!"

"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!"

But she kept trying to sit up and said, 'Honey, I really need to tell you something.'

Finally Jake let her get it off her chest.

'Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father.'

'Don't worry about it,' Jake said, 'I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?'

Both spend more time in a guy's wallet than on his cock.

The guy overhears her talking to herself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?"

"Well," the girl explains, "I always wanted to wait until I was with the man I love to lose my virginity."

Astounded, the guy replies, "So you really love me?"

"Oh God no!" the girl says. "I just got sick of waiting."