Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women

it's very difficult to marry princesses
Three men want to marry the king's most beautiful daughter. The king agrees to give them a chance, but they must perform three difficult tasks: defeat an ogre, turn lead to gold, and screw a cow. The first man dies fighting the ogre, the second fails at turning lead to gold, but the third man successfully completes all three tasks.
"Congratulations!" says the king. "You may now have my daughter's hand in marriage."
"Screw that," says the man. "I want the cow."
adult swim
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are swimming breast stroke in a race. The blonde comes in last and says, I don't mean to be a a sore loser, but I think the other girls were using their hands
two men and an egg
Once upon a time there were two men. One of them has a hen that lays an egg every morning for his breakfast. One morning, the guy wakes up and sees his egg on the other guy's lawn. So he goes over there to get it but, by the time he gets there, the other guy has already picked it up.

The first guy says, "Hey that's my egg."

The other guy responds, "But it's on my lawn."

The first guy says, "Well, where I come from, we have a way of settling these problems. First we get our heaviest boots and kick each other in the nuts. Then we time each other to see how long it takes for both of us to get up. Whoever is up in the least amount of time wins." The other guy says okay.

So the guy with the hen kicks first, because it's his hen. The second guy doesn't get up for 30 minutes, but he finally does and says, "Now it's my turn."

But the first guy walks away, saying, "Never mind, you can keep the egg."

widow for one year
One day three women were at a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, 'Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!'

'I know!' the next woman says, 'Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house but when I called he wasn't there.'

The third woman says, 'I always know where my husband is.'

'Impossible!' both women say, 'He has you completely fooled!'

'Oh no,' says the woman. 'I'm a widow.'

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