Men And Women jokes

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tee shot
 
 
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. He was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man," said his partner, "you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"

taxed blonde
 
 
A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. 'That will be $1.08, please' says the clerk.

'What's the eight cents for?' asks the blonde. 'It says one dollar right here on the packaging.'

'Tax,' replies the clerk.

'Gee,' says the blonde, 'I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put!'

mr. macho
 
 
A typical macho man married typical good-looking woman and, after the wedding, laid down the following rules: 'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?'

His new bride said, 'No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at 7 o'clock every night -- whether you're here or not.'

deathbed confession
 
 
The was a man who had four kids, all gorgeous, except for the youngest one, Craig, who was nothing short of gruesome.

While on his deathbed, the husband asked his wife, "Marie, tell me one thing. And please be honest. Am I Craig's father?"

"Yes, honey," replied his wife. "I promise you, Craig is 100 percent yours."

"I can die a happy man. Godbye my love."

And the man peacefully passed away.

Marie gave a big sigh and said quietly, "Thank heaven almighty he didn't ask me about the other three."


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