Men And Women jokes

Jokes » men and women » humor 197

Men And Women


sweet talker
 
 
On a plane, a man and his wife are offered tea and both accept. The man tries to be sweet to his wife, saying “Pass the sugar, sugar.... Pass the honey, honey.”

Then he says, “Pass the tea, you old bag.”

men, don't say this at victioria's secret
 
 

10. Does this come in children's sizes?
9. No, thanks. I'm just sniffing.
8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
7. Mom will love this!!!
6. Oh, the size won't matter, she's inflatable.
5. That's okay. You don't have to wrap it, I'll eat it here!
4. Will you model this for me?
3. Miracle what? This is better than world peace!
2. 45 bucks?! You're just going to end up naked anyway!
1. And the thing a man should never, ever under any circumstances say out loud in Victoria's Secret: Oh, honey, you'll never get your fat ass into that!
the popular mule
 
 
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "Yes" and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, "No" and mumble a reply. Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.

The farmer replied, 'The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"

mathematics
 
 
He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, 'Now that's addition.'
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, 'Now that's subtraction.'
Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, 'That's multiplication.'
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, 'That's long division!'

Page 198 of 229     «« Previous | Next »»