Animals jokes

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Animals


football fan to the rescue
 
 
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off of a nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Giants Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he writes in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Giants fan," the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," says the reporter.

"Little Jets Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he writes in his notebook.

"I'm not a Jets fan either," the boy says.

"I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Giants or Jets. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.

"I'm a Cowboys fan," the child says.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".

rooster crossing
 
 
Why did the rooster cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation!

mighty mouse
 
 
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, but no one knows how they got in there.

my pig belle
 
 
I once had a pet pig named Belle. One day I decided to let Belle have his freedom. When I let Belle go, he ran as fast as he could into a fence post. I could see three ribs exposed. Belle was dead! I decided to take Belle to a vet. The vet did an autopsy, he concluded Belle died from Suey Side.

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