Animals jokes

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cat on a hot tin roof
 
 
A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, 'I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died."

The man was very upset and yelled, 'You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.'

The brother thought about it and apologized.

"So how's Mom?" asked the man.

"She's on the roof and won't come down."

isn't she lucky?
 
 
Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.

who dun it?
 
 
You know you're a redneck if your dog farts and you take the credit.
fish brains
 
 
Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

A: Dam


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