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i guess that's fair
 
 
Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens."

"Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"

"Heck," says the guy with the bag, "iffin you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."

The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"

some things you just can't
 
 
One day, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the bartender for the strongest thing in the bar.

"What's wrong, fella?" asked the bartender.

'Some things you just can't explain."

'Try me.'

"Okay. I was milking my cow this morning and I filled the bucket clear to the top. Then the dumb cow knocked it down with her left leg, so I grabbed some string and ties her left leg up. Then I milked her again and the stupid cow knocked it down with her right leg. So I grabbed some string and tied up her right leg. I then milked her again and the cow knocked it down with her tail. But this time I was out of string, so I decided to use my belt, so I tied it up with my belt. Just then my pants fell down and my wife walked in.'

"You're right," said the bartender. "Some things you just can't explain."

yo mama's so stupid...penguin
 
 
Yo mama is so stupid she went to the Empire State Building, threw off a penguin and yelled, 'Fly! Fly!!'
three drunk men
 
 
These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before.

The first guy said, 'Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.'

The second guy said, 'Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.'

The third guy says, "Man that was nothing. I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.'

Then the first guy said, 'No -- you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"


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