Animals jokes

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Animals


elephants, beavers and the jungle
 
 
Why is it dangerous to go in the jungle after 5 p.m?
Because elephants jump out of trees after 5 p.m.
Why do beavers have flat tails?
Because they go in the jungle after 5 p.m!
shark attack
 
 
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

what drug was the duck on...
 
 
What drug was the duck on?

Qwack!

christmas carol parrot
 
 
A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday present. So one day, he went into a pet store looking for a parrot. The salesperson showed the man to a very beautiful parrot.

"It's beautiful!" cried the man, "Does he do any tricks?"

"Yes he does," answered the salesman. "If you put a lighted match under his right foot, the bird will sing 'Jingle Bells.' And if you put a lighted match under the birds left foot, he will sing 'Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.'"

"Amazing!" exclaimed the man, and he bought the parrot immediately. That night, the man showed his wife the parrot that he'd bought.

"Oh, what a gorgeous bird! Does it know any tricks?" asked the wife. The man smiled and said, "Watch this."

Then he lit a match and put it under the bird's right foot. Sure enough, the parrot began to sing 'Jingle Bells.' Then he put the match under the bird's left foot, and it began to sing 'Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.'

"That's incredible! Does he do anything else?" the wife asked.

"I don't know, lets see," replied the man. So he lit another match and put it between the bird's legs.

"Chestnuts roasting on an open fire."


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