Animals jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and the friend of a lonely Scotsman?
Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" And the friend of a lonely Scotsman says "Hey, McLeod, get off my ewe!"

One day, a bus driver is on his route, when he runs across a delivery van stranded at the side of the road. The van driver, who works for the zoo, pleads with the bus driver to do him a favor.

He offers a $100 bill to the bus driver to help him deliver a truckload of penguins to the zoo. Agreeing, the bus driver proceeds to load two dozen penguins onto his bus. Then, off they drive towards the zoo.

An hour later, the delivery driver gets his van fixed and heads off to the zoo to catch up with his delivery. As he's driving down the road, he sees the bus driver and the busload of penguins heading in the opposite direction. He turns his van around and chases him, catches up to the bus and pulls over them onto the side of the road. He asks the bus driver, "I thought I gave you a $100 dollars to go and take the penguins to the zoo for me!"

"Calm down," the bus driver says, "I took the penguins to the zoo. We had change left over, so now I'm taking them to the movies!"

What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside?

An elephant in a plastic bag.

Why can't you hear bunnies having sex?

Because they have cotton balls.