Animals jokes

One day, a bus driver is on his route, when he runs across a delivery van stranded at the side of the road. The van driver, who works for the zoo, pleads with the bus driver to do him a favor.

He offers a $100 bill to the bus driver to help him deliver a truckload of penguins to the zoo. Agreeing, the bus driver proceeds to load two dozen penguins onto his bus. Then, off they drive towards the zoo.

An hour later, the delivery driver gets his van fixed and heads off to the zoo to catch up with his delivery. As he's driving down the road, he sees the bus driver and the busload of penguins heading in the opposite direction. He turns his van around and chases him, catches up to the bus and pulls over them onto the side of the road. He asks the bus driver, "I thought I gave you a $100 dollars to go and take the penguins to the zoo for me!"

"Calm down," the bus driver says, "I took the penguins to the zoo. We had change left over, so now I'm taking them to the movies!"

Why can't you hear bunnies having sex?

Because they have cotton balls.

Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

A: Dam

While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep and he began a conversation. Cowboy: "Hey, nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"

Indian: "Dog no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin' alright."

Indian:( Look of shock )

Cowboy:"Is this Indian your owner?" ( Pointing at the Indian )

Dog: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Indian:( Look of disbelief )

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Indian: "Horse no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Good."

Indian:( Extreme look of shock )

Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" ( Pointing at the Indian )

Horse: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me."

Indian:( Complete look of utter amazement )

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Indian: "Sheep liar."