Animals jokes

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britney spears and justin timberlake...
 
 
Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were walking along the beach. Suddenly, Justin says, "Aww, Britney, look at the dead birdie."

Britney looks up at the sky and says, "Where?!"

carrots
 
 
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
father murphy's donkey
 
 
Father Murphy was a very poor priest in a very poor parish and he needed money. He bought a horse to enter in a local race, but the horse turned out to be a donkey. Still, Father Murphy took it as God's will and entered the donkey in the race anyway. The donkey came in third and the newspaper said, "FATHER MURPHY'S ASS SHOWS!"

Encouraged, Father Murphy entered the donkey in another race. The donkey came in first and the papers said, "FATHER MURPHY'S ASS UP FRONT!" He entered the animal in yet another race. This time it came in second and the papers read, "FATHER MURPHY'S ASS BACK IN PLACE!".

The archbishop heard of the priest's activities and decided the church didn't approve of gambling. He ordered Father Murphy to pull the donkey out of all future races. The papers announced, "ARCHBISHOP SCRATCHES FATHER MURPHY'S ASS!"

The Father gaves the donkey to one of the nuns, Sister Agatha and the papers said, "NUN OWNS BEST ASS IN TOWN!"But eventually Sister Agatha got tired of tending the donkey, and sold it to a children's home for only ten dollars. And the newspapers blared, "NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR $10!"

barnyard poem
 
 
The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were alone
Just she and I
Her hair was brown
Her eyes were too
I knew just what
She wanted to do
So with my courage
I did my best
And placed my hand
Upon her breast
I trembled and shook
And felt her heart
Slowly she spread
Her legs apart
I knew she was ready
But I didn't know how
It was my first try
At milking a cow

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