Animals jokes

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

goose hunting
So this guy is in Rhode Island hunting for geese. He catches one and puts it in his bag with the other geese. Just as he closes the bag, a Hunting Inspector walks up.

"Sir, can I please see that bag?" he asks. "Sure," says the hunter and hands the bag over.

The Inspector looks through the bag, pulls out one goose, and sticks his finger up its ass. He pulls it out, smells it and says, "This here's a Virginia goose, do you have a Virginia Hunting License?"

The hunter looks through his wallet and pulls out it and shows it to the inspector. The inspector nods and sticks his hand in the bag and pulls out another goose.

He sticks his finger up it's ass and says, "This here's a Maine goose, do you have a Maine Hunting License?"

The hunter looks again through his wallet, pulls out the card, and shows it to the inspector. He nods again, and pulls out the last goose. He does the routine and says, "This here is a Rhode Island goose, do you have a Rhode Island Hunting License?"

The hunter fishes through his wallet, shows the card to the inspector and puts it back in.

"Boy," you having all these licenses, where you from?" asks the Inspector.

The hunter pulls down his pants and asks, "Why don't you find out?"

old granny and dog
There was an old lady and her dog who lived on the coast.

Every day she and the dog would take a stroll along the beach. One day she stumbled across a bottle. She rubbed the bottle and a genie popped out, who said "You have three wishes." The old granny said "I want a million dollars." Within moments, she was sitting on a pile of cash.

Then she said, "I want my old house to become a mansion." Immediately, her house became a palace. Then she made her last wish: "I want to become a beautiful young lady and my dog to be my handsome young husband." "Done," the genie said and, as the lady and her dog were transformed, the genie disappeared.

The woman took her things and went home. Then she hopped into bed and took her new, handsome husband with her. Then he turned to her and said, "Now aren't you thrilled you had me neutered?"

male bashing
Q: What can a bird do that a man can't?

A: Whistle through his pecker.

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