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zebra definition
What is a Zebra?
A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
chicken engineering at its finest
In a recent issue of Meat & Poultry magazine, editors quoted from 'Feathers,' the publication of the California Poultry Industry Federation, telling the following story:
It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the airplane flies. The theory is that if the windshield can withstand the carcass test impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight.

Apparently, the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, high-speed train they were developing.. They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded a chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken not only shattered the windshield, but went through the engineer's seat, broke an instrument panel, and was imbedded in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to review the test to see if everything was done correctly.

The FAA reviewed the data thoroughly and had one recommendation: 'Use a thawed chicken.'

elephant and rhino
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Answer: ell-if-i-no (Hell if I know)

amishamed of myself
What do you call an Amish man on the side of the road, with his hand up a horse's ass?
A mechanic.

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