Animals jokes

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smart fish
Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools!

i didn't know they had hats
Why do dinosaurs have to wear hats?
So their wives know which end to kiss!
shoot the pig
A farmhand is driving 'round the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He's still wriggling — what should I do?'

"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush."

The farm worker agrees and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."

"So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped.

"The blue light on his bike is still flashing!"

keep it in your pants
How do you get 1 1/2 pounds of meat out of a fly?
You unzip it!

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