Animals jokes

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yo mama's so fat... zoo
 
 
Your Mama is so fat that when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her.
the frog won't be your beast of burden
 
 
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. 'Hi,' he croaks.'What's your name?'

The loan officer says, 'My name is John Paddywack. May I help you?'

'Yeah,' says the frog. 'I'd like to borrow some money.'

The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. 'Okay,what's your name?'

The frog replies, 'Kermit Jagger.'

'Really?' says the loan officer. 'Any relation to Mick Jagger?'

'Yeah, he's my dad.'

'Hmmm,' says the loan officer. 'Do you have any collateral?'

The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, 'Will this do?'

The loan officer says, 'Um, I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'

'Oh, tell him I said hi,' adds the frog. 'He knows me.'

The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, 'Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.'

The manager says: 'It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.'

elephant innuendo
 
 
Why does an elephant have four feet?

Because in the animal kingdom six inches just doesn't cut it.

donkey compliment
 
 
How do you compliment a donkey?

'Hey, nice ass!'


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