Animals jokes

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two brunettes and a blonde...
Two brunettes and a blonde are attempting to fix a roof. While they are on the roof, a herd of cattle run by and knock down the ladder and leave a big pile of poop behind.

The two brunettes decide to make the blonde check how deep the poop is so they can jump down. So the blonde jumps down and yells, "It's only ankle deep."

So the two brunettes jump down and scream, "What are you talking about?! It's up to our heads!"

And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."

there were two blondes at the park...
There were two blondes at the park.

One says, "Look at that dead seagull over there."

And the other looks up and says, "Where?"

tarzan's kipling-esque treatise
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?

Hark! I shall soon be swimming in a veritable river of pachyderm seed!

spider diet
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?

Burgers and flies.

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