Animals jokes

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a kangaroo walks into a bar. he tells the...
 
 
A kangaroo walks into a bar. He tells the bartender, "Blood is the lipstick of all wounds."

The bartender does not know how he said this, or why.

charging elephant
 
 
How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card!

traveling on friday
 
 
If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it?

The horse's name is Friday!

i guess that's fair
 
 
Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens."

"Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"

"Heck," says the guy with the bag, "iffin you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."

The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"


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