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chicken wire & duct tape
 
 
An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Roll of chicken wire."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch some chickens."

"You damn fool! You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy comes walking by, dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

The next morning, the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something in his hand. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Roll of duct tape."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch me some ducks."

"You damn fool! You can't catch ducks with duct tape!"
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.That night around sunset the boy walks by, trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duct tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.

The next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. 'Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"It's a pussy willow."

"Wait up...I'll get my hat."

bone diggers
 
 
What do dogs and women have in common?

They both like 12-inch bones.

who let the blondes out?
 
 
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?

Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.

bear and rabbit
 
 
Once there was a bear taking a dump in the forest. A rabbit walks by and the bear says, 'Hey rabbit, does poo stick to your fur?"

'No,' says rabbit.

"That's great!" says bear.

And bear picks up rabbit and wipes his butt with him.


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