Animals jokes

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c-ing i dog
 
 
Two guys were walking their dogs and came across a bar. Since they were hot and tired from walking the dogs they decided to go in and have a drink. Unfortunately, the bar didn't allow dogs. There was no place to safely secure the dogs, so they started thinking of ideas to get in the bar. Then one of the guys had an idea.

"Just watch me and follow my lead," he said.

He walked into the bar with his dog and the bartender stopped and said to him, "I'm sorry but I can't let you in here."

The guy looked at the bartender and asked, "Why not?"

The bartender replied, "Well, we don't allow dogs into the bar."

"But this is my seeing eye dog," the guy said.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir come on in, and by the way, nice golden retriever."

The guy went into the bar and the second guy walked in with his dog. The bartender stopped him and told him he can't let him in. When asked why not the bartender replied that you cannot have dogs in his bar.

"But this is my seeing eye dog," said the second guy.

The bartender looked at the man and then looked at the dog. After a while he said, "Sir, ah... um... a Chihuahua?"

The man looked a little puzzled and then said, "What? They gave me a Chihuahua?"

when cats are like men
 
 
  • They are independent.
  • They don't listen.
  • They don't come in when you call.
  • They like to stay out all night.
  • When you are trying to get things done, they want your attention.
  • When they are home, they like to be left alone and sleep.
  • the three little pigs
     
     
    Once upon a time, Three Little Pigs walk into a bar. The first pig orders 10 beers, downs them, and then asks for the bathroom. The second pig orders 15 beers, downs them, and asks for the bathroom. The third pig orders 20 beers, downs them, and then sits there eating peanuts.

    "Aren't you going to ask for the bathroom?" asks the bartender.

    "Nope. I'm the pig who goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."

    raven and dog
     
     
    Q: What do you get when you cross a raven with a mad dog?

    A: A ravin lunatic.


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