Animals jokes

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birdie poem
 
 
Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
bar... grasshopper
 
 
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'

The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'

red ribbon blue ribbon
 
 
This lady goes to a vet and learns that that if you put a ribbon around a snoring dog's penis he'll roll over and stop snoring.

The next night her dog is snoring so she goes to the kitchen and gets a red ribbon and ties it around her dog's penis. His snoring stopped.

Later on that night her husband is snoring and so she goes to the kitchen and gets a blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's penis, and he stops snoring.

The next morning her husband wakes up and looks at his dog and looks down at himself.

"I don't know what happened last night, but it appears we came in first and second."

three nuns and a parrot
 
 
Three nuns used to go to the church from their homes every day. On the way they would pass a house where a parrot lived. The parrot would call out three colors every time the nuns would pass by. They soon realized that the parrot was calling out the colors of their respective underpants. They tried to fool the parrot by switching positions while walking and even wearing different colored underpants every day, but the parrot was never wrong. Finally they devised a way to fool the parrot by not wearing any underpants at all. When they walked across the house the parrot spoke out loud, 'Straight, straight, curly.'

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