Animals jokes

Q: There is a house. The front is facing south and the back is facing north. The right side is facing west and the left side is facing east. If a rooster lays an egg on top of the house which way will it roll?

A: No direction: roosters don't lay eggs.

What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?

Burgers and flies.

Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?

A: Lots of room.

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bar tender, "Got any 'gwapes'?", and the bartender replies, "No, sorry I don't sell grapes here." So the duck leaves and goes home to rest and the next day he walks into the same bar and asks the bar tender, "Got any gwapes?" The bartender replies, "No, sorry I don't sell grape here." The duck leaves and goes home to rest and the next day, he goes back to the bar and asks the bartender, "Got any gwapes?" The bartender angrily replies, "I don't want to have to tell you again, I don't sell grapes here and if you ask me again I will nail your beek to the counter of the bar!" The duck leaves and goes home to rest. The next day the duck goes to the bar and asks, "Got any nails?" The bartender looks at him and screams, "No, we don't have any nails!" The duck then asks, "Got any gwapes?"