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which way?
 
 
Q: There is a house. The front is facing south and the back is facing north. The right side is facing west and the left side is facing east. If a rooster lays an egg on top of the house which way will it roll?

A: No direction: roosters don't lay eggs.

a zoo story
 
 
A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman.

The policeman said, "Take that sheep to the zoo, now."

Next day the policeman sees the man with the sheep again.

The policeman stops the guy and says, "What on earth are you doing with that sheep?"

The guy says, "What is there to do? Yesterday I took him to the zoo and now I'm taking him to the movies."

fish says, "duuuuude!"
 
 
What does a fish use to get high?

Seaweed!

froggie proposal
 
 
A man had a very small penis, so he went to a witch to make it longer. She said, “Go into the forest and ask the toad there to marry you, each time it says no, your penis will grow one inch.” Happy, the man ran to the forest and started yelling, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” The frog, of course, replied, “No,” andthe man's penis grew one inch. So he repeated this again, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” The frog yelled back, “NO!”
After a couple times more, the frog was getting mad, but the man decided one more time and one more inch wouldn't hurt, so he yelled again, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” And the exasperated frog said, “I've told you onceand I've told you a million times, no!”

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