Animals jokes

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Animals


turtle sexuality
 
 
What do you call a turtle with an erection?

A slow poke!

froggie proposal
 
 
A man had a very small penis, so he went to a witch to make it longer. She said, “Go into the forest and ask the toad there to marry you, each time it says no, your penis will grow one inch.” Happy, the man ran to the forest and started yelling, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” The frog, of course, replied, “No,” andthe man's penis grew one inch. So he repeated this again, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” The frog yelled back, “NO!”
After a couple times more, the frog was getting mad, but the man decided one more time and one more inch wouldn't hurt, so he yelled again, “Froggie, Froggie, will you marry me?” And the exasperated frog said, “I've told you onceand I've told you a million times, no!”
pregnant tree
 
 
How does a tree get pregnant?
By a woodpecker!
blonde nasa engineer
 
 
NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?"

The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink."

Then NASA Control asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?"

The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink."

Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?"

The blonde woman replies, "Ummmmmmm.... Oh yeah, I remember now. 'Feed the pigs - and DON'T TOUCH A GODDAMNED THING!"


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