Animals jokes

Once they get in, it's wall to wall ducks. A day goes by and the first women steps on the duck. St. Peter comes back with this old, smelly, fat, ugly man and chains them togther saying, "For stepping on a duck, you have to spend forever chained to this man."

Another day goes by and the second women steps on a duck, and St Peter comes back with another old, smelly, fat, ugly, man and chains them togther and says, "For stepping on a duck you have to spend forever chained to this man"

The third women sees this happening and doesn't want this to happen to her. So a month goes by and she hasn't stepped on a single duck. St. Peter comes back and chains her together witjh this really handsome man and walks away. The third women says, "How come I have the pleasure of being chained to you?"

The handsome man replies, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

A: Dam

"Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning."

Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"