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the magician and the parrot
There was magician on a cruise ship, and he was really good.

He was performing the highlight of his show when a parrot walked onstage and squawked, 'It's in his sleeve!'

The magician chased the bird away.

The next day the magician was performing his highlight again (in front of a smaller audience) when the parrot walked onstage and declared, 'It's in his pocket!'

The next day, as he was performing the highlight, he saw the parrot in the crowd. But before the parrot could ruin the magic trick, the boat crashed into a rock and sank.

The magician was lucky enough to find a board to hang on to. On the other end of the board was the parrot.

They stared at each other for three full days, neither of them saying anything, when suddenly the parrot said, 'I give up, what'd you do with the ship?'

bmw & a porcupine
What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine?

A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

trapped inside a whale
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?

Run 'round and 'round till you're all pooped out!

that's cheesy
Q: Why did the mouse go to the party?

A: He heard they were playing Parcheesi!

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