Animals jokes

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fish brains
 
 
Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

A: Dam

rabid dogs are useful
 
 
One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. “My wife,” the man replied.

“I'm sorry,” said Bill, “what happened to her?”

“My dog bit her and she died.” Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, “My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well.”

Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, “Can I borrow your dog?”

To which the man replied, “Get in line.”

holy moley
 
 
How Does a dummy kill a mole?

He buries it.

the pig with the wooden leg
 
 
There was a tourist on a farm and he asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.

The farmer said, 'That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.'

'So why does he have a wooden leg?' the tourist asked.

'Well one night our house caught on fire. And he came into our house and he woke us all up.'

'So,' the tourist asked again, 'why does that pig have a wooden leg?'

'Well, a pig that brave you can't eat all at once!'


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