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a tourist walks into a curio shop and sees ...
 
 
A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like bronze statue of a rat.

He asks the salesmen, "How much?"

The salesman replied, "12 bucks for the rat and 100 bucks for the story."

The tourist says, "I'll just take the rat, thanks."

As soon as the tourist leaves the shop rats started crawling out of the sewers. There were a hundred rats, then a thousand, and then millions.

The tourist was running as fast as he could. He ran to the end of the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the lake as he could. All the other rats jumped after it and drowned.

The tourist walked back to the store.

The salesmen says, "Came back for the story, eh?"

The tourist replies, "No but I was wondering, do you have a statue of a Republican?"

i guess that's fair
 
 
Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens."

"Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"

"Heck," says the guy with the bag, "iffin you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."

The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"

some things you just can't
 
 
One day, a farmer walked into a bar and asked the bartender for the strongest thing in the bar.

"What's wrong, fella?" asked the bartender.

'Some things you just can't explain."

'Try me.'

"Okay. I was milking my cow this morning and I filled the bucket clear to the top. Then the dumb cow knocked it down with her left leg, so I grabbed some string and ties her left leg up. Then I milked her again and the stupid cow knocked it down with her right leg. So I grabbed some string and tied up her right leg. I then milked her again and the cow knocked it down with her tail. But this time I was out of string, so I decided to use my belt, so I tied it up with my belt. Just then my pants fell down and my wife walked in.'

"You're right," said the bartender. "Some things you just can't explain."

don't welsh on me
 
 
Why do the Welsh shag sheep on cliff edges?
So the sheep push back harder!

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