Animals jokes

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Animals


man catches crocodile
 
 
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire."

The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."

So the crocodile bit his legs off.

hi-steppin' mama
 
 
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the dog's tail we had to change his name to Beaver.
closed bull's eyes
 
 
What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

shoot the pig
 
 
A farmhand is driving 'round the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He's still wriggling — what should I do?'

"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush."

The farm worker agrees and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."

"So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped.

"The blue light on his bike is still flashing!"


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