rabid dogs are useful
One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.
Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. My wife, the man replied.
I'm sorry, said Bill, what happened to her?
My dog bit her and she died. Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well.
Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, Can I borrow your dog?
To which the man replied, Get in line.
snail charity
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail.
"Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading.
A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail.
"What'd you do that for?"
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