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sheep soup
 
 
There was a man with a restaurant near a construction site. The construction workers usually had their lunches in there, their favourite meal being beef soup.

But one day the chef ran out of meat and in his panicked state he ran out the door in the hope of finding a ride to town. After noticing that there was no vehicles nearby he sadly started walking back to his restaurant. Upon nearing the construction site he saw a sheep tied up on a pole nearby. He was so happy that he untied the sheep and proceeded to his place.

At lunchtime the construction workers walked in and ordered their favorite soup.

During the meal, the guys started exclaiming in delite that the soup tasted extremely good today and asked what was the reason for that. The chef was pleased and proceeded to tell them about his predicament. Everyone stopped eating with a dazed look on their faces.

The chef asked, "What's the matter boys, did I screw up the cooking?"

"No." replied the foreman of the construction team, "you cooked up the screwing."

fleas
 
 
What do you call 2 fleas on top of a bald head?
Homeless.
respecting the first lady
 
 
George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order.

'I'll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil,' answers the President.

'But sir, what about the mad cow?!!' asks the waiter.

'Oh,' answers Dubya, 'she'll order for herself.'

water on the inside
 
 
Q. If there's H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside?

A. K9P


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