When in the woods he came upon a bear. He started running, and he ran for a while until all of a sudden he tripped over a tree root. At this moment he was almost face to face with the bear. He dropped to his knees and said, 'Dear Lord, if there is one wish I would want for you to give me it would be to make this bear a Christian.'
And at that instant…the bear halted to a stop and dropped to his knees and said, 'Dear Lord, thank you for the food I am about to receive!'
* Wahlberg's neglect in removing his shirt through the entire film reveals his kinship with the teen demographic: BACKNE SUFFERERS.
* Fox Marketing Department determined that the ideal garment for a young ape's human pet is a peach-colored dress.
* All inflamed baboon buttocks in the film were edited out.
* Most extras were actually disgruntled gorillas out of work since the movie "Congo."
* Kris Kristofferson's surly acting style is a result of the neverending pain of "Millenium"'s failure at the box office.
* The imagery of the Ape army's red tents taken straight from biblical writings dealing with how women were separated from the tribe during their periods. (Charlton Heston's idea.)
* Helena Bonham Carter's clothing came under-budget through some seamstress' creativity and Rue McClanahan's wardrobe. Her wildly trendy haircut however, accounted for %15 of the film's budget.
* According to ape acting union, the "Ape" Lincoln Memorial had to be scrubbed down with monkey feces in order to get rid of foul human odor.
Submitted by: David J. Bleecker
E-mail: DBLEEKER@nyc.rr.com
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