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name those tracks
Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field one fine summer day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. "Look! a pair of tracks" The first blonde said while pointing to the ground.

"Those are deer tracks," the other blonde replied.

"Oh no,"she said to the first, "Those are definitely moose tracks."
With this, they began to argue. In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them.

like you would ever call a fish
How do you talk to a fish?

You drop him a line.

that darn cat
There was this cat who loved to get drunk, who went to the bar on the other side of the tracks.

He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk.

The cat starts to stumble home, and when he came to the train tracks, he didn't notice a train coming down the tracks.

As he started to cross the tracks, the train zoomed by, and cut off his tail. The cat turned his head to see the damage, got his head stuck into the side of a speeding box car, and is instantly decapitated.

The moral of the story don't lose your head over a piece of tail!

man beats dog
Why did God make men a little smarter than dogs?

So they won't hump your leg at a cocktail party.

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