Animals jokes

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ford hippovan
How do you get a hippopotamus in a mini-van?

Kick one of the elephants out.

lightbulb flies
Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only two, but I don't know how they got in there!
the engineer and the frog
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want!"

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want!"

The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"

thee you in the moth pit
Why do moths fly with their legs open?

Cause they've got huge mothballs!

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