Animals jokes

In a pod of whales, how can you tell which one is gay?
He's the one that tips the boat and sucks out the 'seamen!'

One day, a fairy visits a lonely widow and says that she is there to give her three wishes.

'I wish I was 21 and beautiful!' The wish is instantly granted.

'I wish I had a million dollars!' The wish is granted.

'I wish that my cat here were the most handsome guy in the world and was madly in love with me.' The wish is granted. The now young lady and her man go inside. They start to cuddle, and the man looks at her.

'Aren't you upset that you had me fixed?'

Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?

A: Winnie the Pooh!

What do you call a dog that hears voices?

A Shih-Tzu-Phrenic!