Animals jokes

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Animals


you might be a redneck...deer
 
 
You might be a redneck if you've ever hit a deer with your car, deliberately!
a man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar...
 
 
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start having a few quiet drinks. As the night goes on, they get pretty drunk. The giraffe finally passes out near the pool tables and the man decides to go home.

As the man is leaving, he's approached by the barman who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lyin' here, are ya?"

"Hmph," says the man, "that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

turtle soup
 
 
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.

"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.

"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"

eagles and weasels
 
 
Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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