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cow riddle
 
 
A black cow was standing in the middle of the road. A man was hauling ass around a corner with no headlights on, no dome light, no lights on at all. He slams on the brakes at just the right time to miss the cow. How did the guy see the cow?

It was daytime
texas transplant
 
 
Three cowboys were hanging out in a bar, discussing George W. Bush's visit to their ranch earlier that day.

"The funniest part," the first one said, "was when he kept trying to honk the cow's horns, complaining that they didn't work."

They laughed, and then the second cowboy said, "No, the best was when he asked if being a cowboy meant that I was half-cow."

They all laughed louder, and then the third cowboy said, "No, boys, the best was when he tried to milk that steer!"

the bear and the rabbit
 
 
There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I want a motercycle helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.

It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was gay."

a piece of advice
 
 
Never play leap-frog with a unicorn.

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