Animals jokes

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bar... duckman
A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "May I help you, sir?"

The duck says, "Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."

beethoven's chicken
Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
It kept saying 'Bach, Bach, Bach...'
rabid dogs are useful
One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. “My wife,” the man replied.

“I'm sorry,” said Bill, “what happened to her?”

“My dog bit her and she died.” Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, “My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well.”

Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, “Can I borrow your dog?”

To which the man replied, “Get in line.”

holy moley
How Does a dummy kill a mole?

He buries it.

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