Animals jokes

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totally bats
 
 
Two bats are going for their midnight feed.

After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.

The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"

The second bat replies, "Follow me. I`ll show you."

After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"

The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"

Other bat says, "I didn't."

this little piggy
 
 
Five little pigs walk into a bar. The first pig asks the bartender for a beer. The pig finishes the beer and asks where the bathroom is.

The second pig goes up to the bartender and asks for two beers. The second pig finishes the two beers and asks where the bathroom is.

The third and fourth pig go up to the bartender and ask for three and four beers. After finishing their beers, they ask where the bathroom is.

The fifth pig goes up to the bar, but before he can order, the bartender says, "You don't have to say anything, you want five beers, right?"

The fifth pig says to him, "Right, but I'm the pig that goes wee wee all the way home.

the duck and the condom
 
 
Two honeymooning ducks are staying in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, "We don't have any condoms. I'll call room service." So he calls and asks for condoms. The receptionist says, 'OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?' 'No,' he says, 'I'll suffocate!'
the ant
 
 
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?

A. Because he was pissed off!


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