Animals jokes

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Animals


snakeskin punny
 
 
What kind of condoms do snakes use?

Anacondoms!

four worms and a funeral
 
 
Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day:

First worm - dead

Second worm - dead.

Third worm - dead.

Fourth worm - alive.

Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms!

yo mama's so stupid...penguin
 
 
Yo mama is so stupid she went to the Empire State Building, threw off a penguin and yelled, 'Fly! Fly!!'
three drunk men
 
 
These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before.

The first guy said, 'Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.'

The second guy said, 'Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.'

The third guy says, "Man that was nothing. I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.'

Then the first guy said, 'No -- you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"


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