Animals jokes

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a ton of pinching?
 
 
What weighs 2,000 pounds and pinches?

An elephant wearing a tight tuxedo!

cat hospital
 
 
Q: Why did the cat go to the hospital?

A: To have a cat-scan done.

doggone it
 
 
What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper?
Ruff!
how to catch an elephant
 
 
As the title suggests, this is how to successfully catch an elephant:
First, you need to dig a hole in the ground that is capable of holding an elephant.
Fill the hole with ashes.
Line the hole with peas.
And when your elephant comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.

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